The Peacemakers/The Mediators
9’s are driven by a need to be peaceful and harmonious. Their attention is often diffused, and they can have trouble focusing on any one particular thing. They are brilliant mediators and have a gift for seeing and understanding both sides to any argument. They struggle most with anger, forgetting it for months or even years at a time only to have it resurface in an explosive way later. 9’s are kind, gentle, and easygoing. They often have trouble speaking up for their own needs and desires, keeping quiet in favor of “keeping the peace.”
What They See
9’s, having their place at the tip-top of the Enneagram, have a knack for seeing all sides of an issue. They are driven to create and experience peace and harmony in their lives and in the world around them. 9’s are gifted therapists and mediators because of their ability to create space for other people and make them feel seen, heard, and validated. They have a belief that all conflict can be resolved. Honestly, if it weren’t for the 9’s in the world right now, we probably would have all died in a nuclear holocaust already.
What They Miss
With their keen focus on keeping the peace, 9’s often miss out on their own thoughts, feelings, and desires for fear of creating or experiencing conflict. 9’s avoid conflict like the plague, and since conflict is an inevitable part of life on this planet, they will often remove themselves, either emotionally or physically, from their own life. In their haste to smooth over the conflict they do experience they can short-change themselves and those they love by not letting the real desires and emotions of the situation surface.
The real work for 9’s is first getting in touch with what they really want and need. This often looks like getting in touch with their long-dormant anger. Getting comfortable with anger is a slow and scary process for 9’s, but once they make friends with their anger, they can channel it to fuel real and meaningful engagement in their own lives. 9’s need to know what they want, and stand up for it in order to know the true meaning of harmony.